great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
