After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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