I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
