Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
