"it" just moved
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh god it's open bar.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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