Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's great music for shaving your balls
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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