Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
