mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
