i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
