I love black thongs
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
