Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
