my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
