I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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