this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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