Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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