you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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