It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
