So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
should my penis look like a turkey
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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