I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
