No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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