please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
