Please, let me fuck your mom
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
