You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
