How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
