people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
