she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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