I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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