I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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