just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
