I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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