Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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