I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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