wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
