Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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