i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no, he came in my armpit
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
