The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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