Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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