no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
