used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
