I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize