i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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