sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
