Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
