Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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