don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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