This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
