What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just google imaged poop.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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