More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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