last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
