dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mom said you looked used
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
